ON THE FLIP SIDE

One week ago I posted on this thing, feeling less than encouraged, sleep deprived, unable to focus, a little lonely, scared, and disheartened. I was short $10 000.00 needed to complete this year, and had been made aware of one too many support raising miracle stories, and wondering when my "miracle God story" was going to happen. Instead of being encouraged, I was jealous.I had spent maybe 10 hours in 10 days outside the walls of my apartment and was going a little stir crazy. A "good nights sleep" was lasting about 4 hours, and my coffee maker had broken to top it off! Instant coffee is brutal in the best of times, and from my point of view, I was dead center in the middle of the worst!

But, here I am one week later, posting from the same seat, alone in the apartment with my computer and worship music playing accompanied to those same muffler-less buses and I have a totally new outlook from where I was one week ago.

My ministry will always have different seasons. For as long as I am in ministry there will be ups and downs, there will days when all I see through the haze is spiritual attacks and days when nothing is clearer to me than God's glory. Today, I am able to see God's glory shining much much brighter than I could a week ago. And I wonder how I could ever miss seeing something so powerful it at all, and realize that I didn't miss God's glory, I just chose to over look it like it wasn't there at all.

About a week ago during a sleepless night I accidentally woke one of my roommates by singing in the middle of the night. I was singing a beautiful song by Hillsongs, Through It All. That night my song was a claim on a promise that we have from God, that He will never leave us, never forsake us, and see us through it all. The song goes like this.

You are forever in my life You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand and lead me in Your righteousness
And I look to You
And I wait on You
I will sing to You, Lord A hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me, I'm carried in everlasting arms, You'll never let me go

Through it all

Today I am sitting with a steaming cup of coffee from my new coffee maker, a purchase that I held off making until I knew I would be staying in Panama until my intern year is up. I still have more to raise, but I know that it is coming. It was a faith purchase. No one else in my apartment drinks coffee as much as me, so unless I stay, the broken machine would not have been replaced. I am trusting that the God who has provided thus far will continue to provide for me as He continues to see me through it all.