It is 12:41am Tuesday February 19th. I desperately want to sleep, but it just won't come. I think I have committed myself to one more late night/early morning of support raising. Why can't I focus in the afternoon around say, 2:30pm...a much more civil hour. For some reason and I have no clue what that is, I am focusing better these days after the clock strikes 12 midnight.
Everyone else in the house has gone to bed, I am alone with my computer, some worship music, my Bible, and the sound of buses without mufflers rumbling down the street. I am sipping ice water and hot tea, wishing I had remembered to buy soy milk when I was out earlier, a bowl of granola would be awesome right now. Oh well, I'm not the hungry anyways.
In my head I am starting a list of everything I could be doing right now; cleaning my room, choreographing a dance, making soup, getting ahead on some reading, painting my toe nails...where is sleep on that list? Oh yeah...it isn't there.
My playlist has been repeating the same 20 songs for about 36 hours straight now...still not bored of them. My Bible is opened to Ezekiel, sometimes I find the Old Testament hard to read, tonight I am just not awake enough to get anything that I can apply to my life from it...I am going to read through some of Mark, focus on the red letters. I'll pick up where I left off in Ezekiel tomorrow.
Is this spiritual warfare? I don't know. But I know that I need to do my part to allow God to work so I can stay here in Panama. I have 146 emails to send to supporters in the next 24 hours. And darn it, I forgot to phone my Dad like I promised. Make that 147 emails.
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2 comments:
Hmm. I'll pray (right now) for you that you can sleep, if it's in our Father's will.
Take courage, Sarah! Keep thinking about all those red letter words :)
(hmm. judging by the timestamp of my comment, hopefully you're asleep by now)
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