Battle Cry

The first step to winning a battle is actually acknowledging that you are in one. Today I have come to that realization. Now don't get me wrong, I have known that there is a spiritual battle going on for quite sometime now, but I have finally seen how I have fit into the picture today.

I had a quiet time today. Now don't get me wrong, I have them most days. But today was real. And I am realising how stale all my quiet times have been for almost a year. Yes, a year. God and I chatted, really dialogued today. And it was wonderful, refreshing. He definitely showed me how for the last year there has only been one set of footprints in the sand, and they haven't been mine. And, the exact weekend stuff started to go off the rails in my life and He picked me up and carried me.

It was a crazy weekend, my Grandma was rushed to the hospital for emergency heart surgery (her pace-maker started poking through her skin). That Friday, I decided once and for all that I had to give up my dream of dancing for a career, something that I'd dreamed about for a long time (good-bye National Ballet School). There were the performances of a ballet that I was originally cast in (my lead role was given away because of my injury and inability to dance). And to cap it all off, stuff with my roommates started to go really down hill (this due in part to me a slight identity crisis not really knowing who I was outside of dance and part due to my roommates and I realising that all we had in common was dance and now not even that.) Life as I knew it was not going well at all, and without even realising it, I lost complete control.

So here are a couple of realisations I've come too...

1) I've been relying on God's strength more than I even realised.

2) God showed me some places in the last year where He could have let me go, but held on tight. I am loved by Him more than I will ever be able to understand.

3) That it's time for us to walk hand in hand with two sets of footprints, He's not going to leave me, ever, but I am ready now to walk on my own.

4) Putting on the "armour of God" has to be a literal thing. (This wasn't a suggestion put into the Bible just for kicks, we really need it. Daily.)

So I'm able to see how God has carried me through the battle for the last year. But now, I need to take some ownership and fight. So, some changes are going to be made in my life. Nothing to drastic, but now that I can see how close the enemy has come in the last year, I know what I need to do.